David Duchovny Will Inspire You to Read with 'Holy Cow'

The countdown to February 3, 2015 is officially on.

The description of David Duchovny’s upcoming book Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale has been released, and it describes what can only be seen as a truly magnificent piece of art. The former X-Files and Californication star has written a book he previously described to Rolling Stone as “a kids’ book and an adult book…a fable, like Animal Farm or Charlotte’s Web; an allegorical story using animals for people.”

OK, so that sounds intriguing, but plenty of famous people have tried self-indulgent projects outside their normal area of expertise and failed miserably. What’s to say this would be any different?

Well, here’s the synopsis of the book:

A rollicking, globe-trotting adventure with a twist: a four-legged heroine you won’t soon forget.

Elsie Bovary is a cow, and a pretty happy one at that — her long, lazy days are spent eating, napping, and chatting with her best friend, Mallory. One night, Elsie and Mallory sneak out of their pasture; but while Mallory is interested in flirting with the neighboring bulls, Elsie finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the farmer's family gathered around a bright Box God — and what the Box God reveals about something called an "industrial meat farm" shakes Elsie’s understanding of her world to its core.

There's only one solution: escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Jerry — excuse me, Shalom — a cranky, Torah-reading pig who's recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave (in his own mind, at least) turkey who can’t fly, but who can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport.

Elsie is our wise-cracking, pop-culture-reference-dropping, slyly witty narrator; Tom — who does eventually learn to fly (sort of) — dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom, rejected by his adopted people in Jerusalem, ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians. David Duchovny’s charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance that the world desperately needs.

David, you had us at “flirting with neighboring bulls.” We also are curious to hear about Jerry/Shalom’s conversion to Judaism (it’s tough for pigs to be accepted, we bet) and why Tom the flightless turkey thinks he’s so suave.

We never thought we’d be so excited for winter, but thanks to Mr. Moody, we can hardly wait.

complex.com